"Eight Negative Characteristics Of True Love"

Dr. George Bannister
"What The World Needs Now is Love, True Love"  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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SERIES: "What The World Needs Now is Love, True Love"
MESSAGE #:3
TITLE: "Eight Negative Characteristics Of True Love"
TEXT:
ETS: The Apostle Paul gives a detailed description of love.
ESS: Love exhibits certain characteristics.
OSS: Christians will gain a new understanding of love and endeavor to live it out.
UW: Characteristics
PQ: What are some defining characteristics of true love?
INTRODUCTION:
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The early Latin writer, Tertullian of Carthage, declared that the one thing that converted him to Christianity was not the arguments they gave him, because he could find a counterpoint for every argument they would present. “But they demonstrated something I didn’t have. The thing that converted me to Christianity was the way they loved each other.”

I. TRUE LOVE IS NOT ENVIOUS (VS. 4B).

(“ENVY” = οὐ ζηλοῖ = to be heated or to boil with envy, hatred, anger)

Envy is rebellion against God’s leading in the lives of his children. It’s saying that God has no right to bless someone else more than you.—Erwin Lutzer

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A. Envy can have different focus’:
1. The other person’s position.
2. The other person’s possessions.
3. The other person’s problems.
B. What does the Bible say?
1. () “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.”
2. () “Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.”

II. TRUE LOVE IS NOT SELF-CENTERED (VS. 4C).

(“does not boast”= οὐ περπερεύεται= to boast one’s self, a self display, be a braggart)
Holman New Testament Commentary: I & II Corinthians C. The Characteristics of Love (13:4–7)

Love … does not boast. Paul’s word for “boast” (perpereuomai) appears only here in the New Testament, and infrequently in the rest of hellenistic literature. The meaning seems to be “bragging without foundation,” and may also encompass sinful acts that Paul elsewhere called kauchaomai. The NIV also translates kauchaomai as “boast,” but kauchaomai does not always carry a negative connotation.

At the same time, loving other people does not mean failing to acknowledge the good God has done in oneself and in others. Paul was not beyond complimenting the Corinthians. He even asserted his own standing on occasion. Love does not mean lying about human accomplishments. Rather, it means not exalting ourselves over others as if our accomplishments were based on our own merit and ability.

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A. Self-Centeredness can take different forms:
1. The “I’m better than you” syndrome.
2. The “I’ve gotta have the attention” syndrome.
3. The “I’ve got to have the last word” syndrome.
B. What does the Bible teach?
1. () “Because of the privilege and authority* God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.”
2. () ”Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! ”

III. TRUE LOVE IS NOT CONCEITED (VS. 4D).

(“PUFFED-UP” = οὐ φυσιοῦται= to be puffed up, to bear one’s self loftily, be proud)
A. Conceit conveys detrimental things:
Present direct middle indicative of φυσιοω [phusioō] from φυσις [phusis] (late form for φυσαω, φυσιαω [phusaō, phusiaō] from φυσα [phusa], bellows), to puff oneself out like a pair of bellows. (Robertson, A.T. Word Pictures in the New Testament. Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1933.)
Holman New Testament Commentary: I & II Corinthians C. The Characteristics of Love (13:4–7)

Love … does not boast. Paul’s word for “boast” (perpereuomai) appears only here in the New Testament, and infrequently in the rest of hellenistic literature. The meaning seems to be “bragging without foundation,” and may also encompass sinful acts that Paul elsewhere called kauchaomai. The NIV also translates kauchaomai as “boast,” but kauchaomai does not always carry a negative connotation.

At the same time, loving other people does not mean failing to acknowledge the good God has done in oneself and in others. Paul was not beyond complimenting the Corinthians. He even asserted his own standing on occasion. Love does not mean lying about human accomplishments. Rather, it means not exalting ourselves over others as if our accomplishments were based on our own merit and ability.

Robertson, A.T. Word Pictures in the New Testament. Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1933.)
A. Conceit conveys detrimental things:
“Pride is the only disease known to man that makes everyone sick except the one who has it.”—“Uncle” Bud Robinson
A. Conceit conveys detrimental things:
1. I don’t need anyone else.
2. I am the only one who has any intelligence.
3. The world can’t survive without me.
B. Note scriptural counsel:
1. () “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ”
2. () “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.”

IV. TRUE LOVE IS NOT RUDE (VS. 5A).

(“Behave rudely”= οὐκ ἀσχημονεῖ = to act unbecomingly (in a rude or indecent manner)
A. Rudeness has some devastating consequences:
1. It results in hurt feelings.
2. It results in fractured relationships.
3. It results in destroyed testimonies.
B. What does the Bible say?
() Now I appeal to Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement.
() “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.”

V. TRUE LOVE IS NOT SELFISH (VS. 5B)

(οὐ ζητεῖ τὰ ἑαυτῆς = Seek with the intent of having own way without concern of how it will affect others.)
A. Selfishness has inevitable consequences:
1. It saps relationships of their vitality.
2. It shuts down avenues of joy and ministry.
3. It shuns others and demeans their importance.
B. Notice what the Word of God says:
1. () “We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. 2 We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. 3 For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, “The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.”

VI. TRUE LOVE IS NOT QUICK TEMPERED (VS. 5C)

(οὐ παροξύνεται = easily provoked, irritated, aroused to anger)
A. Having a quick temper is a serious matter:
1. It creates an unhealthy fear in those who are around you.
2. It destroys fellowship with others around us.
3. It disrupts fellowship with the Heavenly Father.
B. Hear the counsel of Scripture:
1. () “ Short-tempered people do foolish things, and schemers are hated.”
2. () “Human anger* does not produce the righteousness* God desires.”
3. () “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”

VII. TRUE LOVE IS NOT SUSPICIOUS (VS. 5D)

(οὐ λογίζεται τὸ κακόν= to pass to one’s account, to impute, to suppose, deem, judge)
A. A suspicious mind wreaks havoc in all kinds of ways:
1. It destroys trust in relationships.
2. It leads to destructive gossip.
3. It separates friends and families.
B. Note the instruction of scriptures:
1. () “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

VIII. TRUE LOVE DOES NOT GIVE AFFIRMATION TO EVIL (VS. 6).

(οὐ χαίρει ἐπὶ τῇ ἀδικίᾳ, συνχαίρει δὲ τῇ ἀληθείᾳ· = Does not rejoice in or approve of iniquity, but in the truth.)
A. Affirming evil leads to certain problems:
1. Affirming or rejoicing in evil encourages rebellion against God.
2. Affirming or rejoicing in evil endangers others.
B. Notice the warnings in scripture:
1. () “They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.”
2. () “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”
() “You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.” .
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22 You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart. .
CONCLUSION:
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